Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

Why did the chicken cross the road? A chicken doesn't need a motive to cross a road, it just does.

Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

What's white on the top and black on the bottom? Society.

On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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