Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What person looks most like Jim Carry? Jim Carry

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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Part 1 - Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Part 2 - Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy!

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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And so the poster says to the apple ........ Your not my dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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