A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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why did the baby cry? Someone threw a brick at his head.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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What's black, white and red all over? A popular novel printed in multiple languages.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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matt shut up

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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69

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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