Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Yo Mumma so dumb she has to climb over a glass wall to see whats on the other side.... Yo Mumma's so fat when she walked past the tv she made me miss 5 series... Yo Mumma's so fat when god said let there be light she had to move out of the road. That's nearly all that I have, but if u have one leave it in the comment

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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Q: what do you call this?: the boi wuz ridin the scool bus and it crased in a wal. A: grammacally flawed

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what is light brown and looks like sand? sand

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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A man walks into the bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "Oh, sorry." And proceeds to remove his horse mask.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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LIE

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who the hell keeps shiting in my garden

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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And so the poster says to the apple ........ Your not my dog

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pizzano is a tool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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