A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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God is real

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Soccer...

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I love watching pom Get your minds out of the gutter

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Q: What do you call 10 black people in the ocean? A: A family having a good time on an exciting scuba diving tour.

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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How do you scare Chris Ferguson? No one knows, he always has a pokerface on.

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What did I eat for my breakfast? My breakfast.

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What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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