What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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read this

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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*insert joke here*

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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Whats green and has 4 wheels? A green car.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because at some point through out the day, it had been relocated to the other side of the road. Since it was feeding time, it needed to return to the chicken coop or else risk death due to starvation.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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Why was the boy praying? Because both of his parents had just been brutally murdered in front of him and he was analy defiled by the assailant and left alive to have live with the pain of seeing both of his parents be killed. He had also dropped his lollipop.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops