What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Women's rights

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do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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Whats white and sticky? Rotten milk.

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Why did the Mexican put away the Marijuana? Because he was a Police Officer

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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69

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Knock Knock. Who's there. To. To who. To whom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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