How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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Anti-joke.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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Meow.

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Vagina ass.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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how can you tell if your moms fat? if Dora can't explore her (mx)

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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A caterpillar walks into a bar. I don't know how he opened the door.

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What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

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I have a black guy in my family tree? Yea, his still hanging their

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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