Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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a ginger has a soul

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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There was a seal and polar bear on the same iceberg. The polar bear turns to the seal and says "Roar!!" Then the polar bear ate the seal.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He didnt.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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An Irish man walks into a bar. He then sits down and enjoys his favorite drink.

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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