what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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69

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He didn't he stopped and fapped.

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Knock Knock Whos there Who Yan Who Yan Who Chow Yan Chow

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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your a towel.

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Shut the cork up!

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N Porn.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

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A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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47

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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