Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawnmower? Nothing. A canary is a small bird, and a lawnmower is an inanimate object. Any procreation of this sort would likely produce no offspring.

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What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

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And then i said what about breakfast at tiffanies, and then you said i hate that movie.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Q: What did the blonde woman say? A: My hair is blonde

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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motley crew

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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Man walks in the bar then buys a drink

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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What did the monkey say to dog Foreskin

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why did the f a g perform fellatio? because he was a sick c unt

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Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Worst joke ever

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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