What did the clock say? The time.

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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Yo mamma is so nice, when she bakes a batch of cookies, there's enough for everybody.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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What is brown and sticky? Black tar heroin.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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I have had depression for several years and have recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I therefore drink diet soda and have sugar free snacks. Which leads to diahrea. Lots of diahrea.

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why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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what time is it? 3:16

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two parrots are seated on a perch. One turns to the other and says, "Do you smell fish?"

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

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When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

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Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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