Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Please spell dyslexia.

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bum sex lol

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Why did the airplane crash? It was hit by a flying refrigerator.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Proof reading

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

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Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

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Penisland

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Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

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a man walked into a bar ouch

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A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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mark is mark

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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