How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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what is the difference between coke and pepsi? -they are competing soft drinks made by different brands

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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What do you do when jews take over your country? Invade Poland.

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What do you call a tall Asian Tall

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A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Find the M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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Roses Are red violets are blue I HAVE FIVE FINGERS THE MIDDLE IS FOR U

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

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Yo mama so fat... Her doctor told her she's morbidly obese and she has 2 years to live if she doesn't change her eating habits and exercise regularily.

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bum sex lol

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Please spell dyslexia.

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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What happened when a 16 year old guy went over to his friends party? found out he wasn't friends with anyone there, got kicked out and committed suicide.

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Proof reading

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I am not racist., I have a black man in my family tree! He is still hanging there

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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