Once upon a time, a story teller used the "once upon a time" metaphor in order to tell you your parents have died in a terrible accident

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

Roses are red That much is true But violets are purple Not freaking blue

What's Pink And Fluffy? Pink Fluff.

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

Question: What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian at the grocery store? Answer: Will that be paper or plastic?

Why was the man cold? Because he was dead.

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What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dream of a day when chickens won't be questioned about their actions

A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

Why did Timmy fall off the swings? -Because he had no arms Knock knock! Who's there? Not Timmy

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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