Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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Your mom.

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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pinky ponky went a bit wonky oh no plz dont go or i will rape you untill you know

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What are the four season of Canada? Cold, cold, cold and road work.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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WNBA

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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