whats a dick a dick

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Why didn't Jeffrey become a butler? He did become a butler.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

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How do you kill a retard? Pour gasoline on him and light him on fire.

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MILEY CYRUS: ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME! ME: O GOD CALLED HE SAID YOUR A HOE TO

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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A Man: Why does it seem as though you always find what you need in the last place you look? Another Man: Probably because you don't continue to look.

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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blind man walks into a . . . .. .

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Cancer.

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops