Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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If a tree falls, and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? No. While the falling tree surely creates mechanical oscillations in the air, sound is defined as the mechanical oscillations in the air perceived by humans. Therefore, since no humans were around to hear the tree fall, it did not create a sound.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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A baby crawls into an abortion clinic.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

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An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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for keeps?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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