What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Eating the worm

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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Why did the tree stay home from school? Because, trees don't have school.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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So there was this Afghan with a backpack on a train... he was going to work.

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Guy 1: "Hey do you want to hear a joke?" Guy 2: "Sure" Guy 1: "No."

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what's red, blue, and white all over? The American Flag

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

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What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

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i have a white dog on my and have the strangest boner

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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