Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Womens rights.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What do you call a puppy with no limbs? It doesn't matter, he's never coming back.

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Shut the cork up!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Chicken

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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A black man walks up to the cashier with twenty buckets of KFC and seventeen gallons of grape Kool - Aid. The cashier says, "Do you want a bag for those?"

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Q: Why didn't the mexican get into the bathtub? A: He was already clean

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An elephant walks into a bar..what the hell

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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What causes floods? Too much water.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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