Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Q: What's white, sticky, and is swallowed by most women? A: Ice Cream

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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I share two rooms with my mother.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Why'd humpty dumpy fall of the wall? Someone threw a fridge at him

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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I am on a escalator.

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If I was a regular squirrel, I would be pissed at flying squirrels.

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops