What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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BenWuzHear

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Have you heard about the Polish kamikaze pilot? No, you haven't, because it would be historically and culturally incorrect.

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. ~Stevie Wonder

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a horse? The horse has no shell.

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Women's rights

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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What do you get when you cross an intersection? Possibly a lower leg contussion, ACL tear, breaks in 4 different sections of your arm and lots of brain swelling if you are hit by a car.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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