An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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A man with a gun walks into a bar. The police are called and the man was killed quickly.

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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yfygcugyuyc

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who do hannah morgan and bonnie do in their free time? ANTI JOKEZ

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The cow went moo

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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