guess what my nephew said today? oh ya i forgot, hes dead..

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

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You have cancer

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Q; Why to did the chef jump off of a cliff wearing an Elmo suit? A; Because he felt like it. It;s a free country

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A choir boy is hit by a car outside church. Someone runs to him and says "shall I fetch the priest?" The boy starts to mumble something but quickly loses consciousness, and later dies after 16 hours in ICU.

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What do you call a highschooler who smokes weed, shops at the mall, and has date-raped one girl so far? Popular.

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Your mom is intimately familiar with many mens' penis due to her many years as a successful urologist.

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an asian walks into a bar and does his math homework then he gets raped by a horse

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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Why did the chicken cross the border? Because he was an immigrant and was afraid of the police.

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

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What's funny about 9/11? Nothing.

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You know what they say about people with big feet.......... They wear big shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops