Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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PUDDING

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why couldn't the man walk? Because his leg is broken.

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What do you call two black guys having sex with Paris Hilton? N*ggas in Paris

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

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What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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What do you call a group of black people? A group, you racist.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and deaf, and to put her behind the wheel of a motorized vehicle would be extremely dangerous.

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the cancer patient shave his head? He wanted to pretend he still had hair.

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HaHaHaHa... Was the last joke funny? Ya, well this ones not.

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Q: Ask me how far have you gone with a girl? A: Mexico

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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