So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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What is the difference between a duck. One of its legs are both the same.

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? silence... Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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new year new me my nigga's chilling on the couch . he'l be happy if i put my dlck inside his mouth next one: i got 4 but i give it to mr. gore when he say whats your name? me:hey my mane is Erick bryan and my puss* is wet wait nonono :D

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Whats worse then finding TWO worms in your apple? The Holocaust, it was pretty bad.

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Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

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Why did the man rob a bank? Because he was poor.

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

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obama's promises

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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