Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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american government

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How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree? Get a ladder and help her down.

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

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A woman walked into the doctors office with a black eye. The doctor asked: How did you get that? The woman said: I fell.

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A Guy walks into a Bar, has a good time and leaves

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roses are red facebook is blue no mutual friends who the heck are you

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Why is the post under me so funny? Because the boy won't be able to play the x box!

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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