What did the bartender say to selena gomez? Your hot.

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

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What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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What's worse than the unwarrented death of six milliion Jews? The death of six million and one Jews

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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What did the hammer say to the drill? Nothing, they don't talk stupid.

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Knock, Knock. I have no door.

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If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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