"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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Why did the blonde become a cannibal? Because she got hungry.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. They both start to pee, and the white man looks over to the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the blackman's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels embaraased at his latent homosexuality. They both leave, never seeing eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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A doctor is delivering a baby on April fool's day. He says, "Congradulations, it's a boy." He then says,"April fools! Your child was stillborn."

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whats purple and savage? Barney!

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? A Boy Scout comes home from camp.

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HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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What do you get when an elephant and a penguin have a baby? Dunno, it's seems highly improbable.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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