How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four in the seats, twenty six in the ash tray, and thirty in the gas chamber.

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

The cow went moo

Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.

Good to know tattletale, I remember hating you back then when you betrayed me, but I cant wait to meet you again. Anyway Nero, I am a girl, its not about sex with me, I just had to tell you, and hope you will take better care of yourself, I know you used to be worried about your looks, and I just want you to understand ill be there for you no matter what. Thanks for the kind words Nero, I know you mean them, you never hid the fact that you found me attractive, but while I did not understand then why you would ruin every nice moment by saying something cheesy or rude, I think I get it now... I know you need rest, but can I arrive as soon as possible? Ill just wait outside or something, I wont be a bother I promise.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

What's funnier than a dead triceratops? Nothing, nothing at all...in fact this is scary because the triceratops and their other Cretaceous herbivores, have been extinct for over 3.5 trillion years... ........also if you see a dead triceratops, you're probably tripping on LSD.........

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. They all miss.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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