Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Roses r red violets r blu I hav5 fingers the middle ones for u

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What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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why couldn't the old man play basketball? he lacked the physical dexterity, had asthma, and had no arms.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

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Q: why are black people so good at basketball? A: because the can shoot and steal:)

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If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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poo is yummy

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing. He's been dead for over three years.

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A mushroom walked into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom said, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender said, "Exactly. It's a health hazard. I already have two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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Penis.

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What do you call a dog that's having a stroke? An emergency animal hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

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No, luke. I am your father. damnit

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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