ecks! why zee?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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A black man walks up to a jewish man in a bar. They engage into a nice conversation, seeing how they were friends back in college.

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What's red and hurts you? A brick.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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