Roses are red. Violets are blue. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo don't be sad cause I'll be there to not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you heard the one about the Norwegian? He killed 98 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

natalie wilson is a hilarious stripper

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop a black guy from drowning? You take your foot off of his face

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

No. Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock! Who's there? What do you mean... we have been having a conversation for a half hour now... that's your name you idiot, Knock Knock!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops