A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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mark is mark

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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Whats worse than getting dirt on your brand new J's Finding your girlfriend cheating on you with your Great Dane and realizing that he dose her better than you.

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cool story bro. tell it again. tell it at a party.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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A blond, a brunnet and a read head all fall off a cliif, wich one did not die They all died you idiots

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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Cows make a world go round and round They also live in the town town town They make a funny sound sound sound MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO Where do cows go on saturdays? The MOOvies I am Cow Hear me MOO I weigh 10 times more than you! Why are cows black and white? Cause they dont want to be racist

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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what is worse the Holocaust or slavery? patantan!

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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why did the one handed man cross the road? to get to the secondhand shop.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops