Why are the British so uptight? I don't think they are.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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Yo' momma is like a hardware store, 25 cents for a screw!

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Two Jews were fighting over a penny and then they realizde that they may be made fun of for this and quickly stopped.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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i like tits

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three men get stranded on a island and cannibals find them and they say go find 3 fruits and come back. first guy comes back with three apples and they say we will shuve them in your rectum and if you scream we will kill you he screams he dies. second guy comes back with grapes and he laughs before they can start. and in heaven the first guy says why did you laugh and he says there voices are funny.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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What did the asian parent say to his kid when he got a D? -It's OK son, you will do better next time.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because dogs are absent-minded and they don't know any better.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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knock knock. who's there myhairs myhairs who myhairs fallen out

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

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More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops