Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: One stops sucking when you slap it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

More mindfuck "government hypnosis edition": What can doctors possibly do in order for you to wait enough for them to come to help you? They call you "their PATIENT!" Moral: So be patient and wait, oh thee brainwashed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

well the duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man, running the stand "quack" then went on its way

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get straight A's? Try really hard throughout the school year and when it comes to the exams study enough to ensure you understand all the material, but so so much as to compromise your sleeping pattern, and in turn, your performance on the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

THIS IS SPARTER!!! :3

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q Why did the man run away from his shadow? A He didn't it was physicaly impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Men's Sports

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three blondes walk into a bar. I prematurely ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

69

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops