what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

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for keeps?

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

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Two mooses were sitting in a tree, minding their own business, when suddenly a submarine came flying. "He probably lives here." The first moose said to the other.

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Nobody knows why she swallowed the fly, she probably won't die.

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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A man got a promotion at work. Now he makes more money.

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What is invisible, weighs 332 pounds, runs 67.3 mph, is green, and is made by Jews in China. Nothing, if something is invisible, then it cannot reflect green light, therefore it cannot be green.

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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