When life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

A Priest and A Rabbi Walk Into The Bar. Ouch.

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

Why was the toddler laying in the middle of the road? Because she was the victim of a hit and run...

Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

How do you get a black man to use a condom? You explain to him all the benefits of safe sex.

They decide to exchange heads. Barbie squeezes the small opening under her chin over Ken's bulging neck socket. His wide jaw line jostles atop his girlfriend's body, loosely, like one of those novelty dogs destined to gaze from the back windows of cars. The two dolls chase each other around the orange Country Camper unsure what they'll do when they're within touching distance. Ken wants to feel Barbie's toes between his lips, take off one of her legs and force his whole arm inside her. With only the vaguest suggestion of genitals, all the alluring qualities they possess as fashion dolls, up until now, have done neither of them much good. But suddenly Barbie is excited looking at her own body under the weight of Ken's face. He is part circus freak, part thwarted hermaphrodite. And she is imagining she is somebody else—maybe somebody middle class and ordinary, maybe another teenage model being caught in a scandal. The night had begun with Barbie getting angry at finding Ken's blow up doll, folded and stuffed under the couch. He was defensive and ashamed, especially about not having the breath to inflate her. But after a round of pretend-tears, Barbie and Ken vowed to try to make their relationship work. With their good memories as sustaining as good food, they listened to late-night radio talk shows, one featuring Doctor Ruth. When all else fails, just hold each other, the small sex therapist crooned. Barbie and Ken, on cue, groped in the dark, their interchangeable skin glowing, the color of Band-Aids. Then, they let themselves go— Soon Barbie was begging Ken to try on her spandex miniskirt. She showed him how to pivot as though he was on a runway. Ken begged to tie Barbie onto his yellow surfboard and spin her on the kitchen table until she grew dizzy. Anything, anything, they both said to the other's requests, their mirrored desires bubbling from the most unlikely places.

What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

What did little Jimmy say when he saw a group of dancing blue penguins dressed as cannibal clowns with saucers on their head ? "What the f*ck"

What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

my nAME IS ALAN AND IM NOT COOL

why did the chicken cross the road cause he was suicidal but a car just didnt happen to hit him.

why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

why was 6 afraid of 7? He's not.

What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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