Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "Only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you say to a very ambitious dyslexic child? You're ambition is inspiring and I encourage you to follow your dreams. Some of the worlds greatest people, including Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill were dyslexic. Your drive is much bigger than your disorder.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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do you wanna hear a joke about pizza? sure. naw,its too cheesy

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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A man walks into a bar. ouch.

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anne hatthaway

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Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

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What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

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An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

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96

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Male penises.

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops