Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them..

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

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Stop being a centipede

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your dog and finding a worm.

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Why can't Hank drive? Hank is a stone.

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Ay Bee Cee Dee Ey Ef Gee Haych Eye Jay Kay El Em En Ow Pee Queue Our Es Tee You Vee Doubleyou Ex Why Zed Now you know your ABC, come along and sing with me!

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knock knock who's there police

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What's worse than sibling rivalry? having no bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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