What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are brown I like clouds this joke isn't funny so don't laugh..... Oh an I am trying to get the most dislikes so whatever you do don't like it:(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

;aosughdfo

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The bartender is institutionalized for paranoid schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces of me and bounces of you too because sound isn't affected by your adhesive properties.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the asian woman's car get totaled She was hit by a drunk driver

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why do some Jewish people have big noses? There religion doesn't affect the size of there nose it really depends on genetics, like the if there parents had a big nose, or a small one would probably affect the size of a Jewish person nose

thumb_up thumb_down +17

wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

thumb_up thumb_down +17

69

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A gay kid and a group of his friends are at the park. Gay: hey can you do a cartwheel? Girl: helllll no! Gay: Are you straight? Girl: Yah? Gay: Im gay and i can do one.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna know who doesnt no how to right a joke? Who ever wrote this...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops