What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

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What do you call a man who laughed at a joke that wasn't funny? A man who gets amused at the littlest things.

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she wasn't 18

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Iggy Azalea

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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Did the Chicken cross the road? No the road moved the chicken across.

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Why did the farmer go to the market? Because his butt was on fire!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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