Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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I'm a like whore

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a hard working man goes home after a long day at work to find that his wife left him for his even harder working father.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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Knock Knock Dude there is no door

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He was on his way home from work and saw some youths loitering on the street corner and thought it best to avoid them and therefore any possible confrontation. He would also appreciate it if you would call him something along the lines of Bravery impaired instead of a chicken as he finds it offensive and doesn't fully understand the avian reference to his lack of confidence.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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yo mama's so fat her stomach mass weighs more than people who dont have as much fat as her.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops