Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the clown go to the hospital? i hit him in the leg with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's gay, has ten eyes and is gay. One D. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the avocado say to the person? I can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A white man, a black man, and a mexican were stranded in a giant dessert, They were quick to notice the spelling error and ate happily for a few days

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops