A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the situation -Tag

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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women outside of the kitchen

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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What do you call a black man driving a bus? By his name

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What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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19th amendment

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Knock knock. Come in.

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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What did the the boy get from his grandma for Christmas. Nothing. she died a week ago.

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What's the difference between Hitler and shit? Shit has a shower in the morning.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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