Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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God is almighty, as such he ANSWERS TO NO ONE! Moral: What you praying for then bitch?

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

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eloise dey.

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mat: whats 2+2? emma: how long we lasted

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Jameson: hey peter peter parker: what Jameson: do you know what my favorite kind of beans are Peter: no Jameson: van de camps

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

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how many moms can you fit in a bathtub? as many as you want

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Your momma's so fat, her doctor seriously recommends that she lose weight for the sake of her health and happiness.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Gays

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An elephant walks up to a camel and says why have you got a pair if boobs on your back, the camel the replies that's a funny question coming from someone with a dick on their face.

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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