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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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What's worse that finding a worm in your apple? Half the holocaust

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

Obama

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

Why did the baby die? Abortion

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

Dick spice

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas Mittens

Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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