What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why do you care?

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Why did the train crash? Because the conductor was a cucumber.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Why do flamingos hold up one leg?f If they held up two they'd fall down.

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What's the difference between women and a bucket? before 1923, women didn't have the right to vote. Bucket's still don't.

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SHEA CAPOLUPO HAS A TINY SHLONG. 8- turn your head sideways haha.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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for keeps?

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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What does a dog do in his spare time? Lick himself.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they're both dead.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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