Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Q:If pigs ever played basketball, then what sound would they make? A:Oink-oink

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What did the goat say to the other goat? They are poorly evolved animals and incable of speaking.

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What's Funnier than this joke? Lee Evans

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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Nothing yet CC

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

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Jews

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Roses Are Blue Violets Are Purple Black is Purple Im colorblind

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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How do you kill a 6'5 black man in a dark alley? Stab him 3 times in the appendix with a 12 inch blade.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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What did the boy with no arms get for christmas? heart worms

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what do kallum and joel have in common they both work at club getaway

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue I'm going to rape you in the ass with a rake.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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