Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

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Kenny died. The Bastards.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Knock, Knock! Who's There? Your neighbor, I found your lost cat! Oh thanks!

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bob saget

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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My phone rang. So I answered it.

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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What did the blind man look at when the girl showed him her cleavage ? ... Nothing... He's blind... >_>

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Cows go moo.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo Boo hoo? Boo hoo your parents are dead.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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How u know when ur sister have periods... Fathers dig taste like blood

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops