What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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a man walks into a prostitute.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Why did sally fall off the wings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there NOT SALLY HAHAHAHA LOVE YOU JK

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

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A black guy walks into a shoe store and buys a pair of size 14 shoes. The cashier smiles and says: so is it true what they say about big feet? The black guy laughs for a moment and responds: yeah it's really hard to find socks that fit.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Mind your own business.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did Robert fall off his bike?? Because he was a potato.

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Boy: Mum... I got a hundred marks! Mother: That's good my son! Which subject was it? Boy: 30 for maths, 40 for english, and 30 for science.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops