What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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I walked a few Km from home.. Something stops me in my tracks, there lies A LIE!

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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What's yellow and lays in a tree? Tweety the Whore

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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How do you keep a black man from robbing your house? Lock your doors, or perhaps get a update-to-date security system.

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the asian kid gets an F

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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Knock Knock! I have a door bell, you idiot!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Ze Gestapo!

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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If you're reading this, you can read.

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A new restaurant KKKcake

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What's longer then Hitlers gas bill Chris Browns Penis

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What is the difference between a firework and a dog? One is funny to blow up and the other one is pretty lights

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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A Irish man walks our of a bar

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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