Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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The Bible

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why did the boy drop his ice-cream? because he got hit by a bus

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, and mute child get for his birthday? Nothing, his parents hate him.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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what did the orphan say to the adults wanting to adopt him? i hope u will provide well living conditions because i have lost both of my parents and am forced to live off one meal a day

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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