What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

A Jew walks into a Furness

A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

Whats the difference between a ferrari and a boner? Too much to list.

This is an anti-joke.

do you wanna hear a joke cutsforbieber#

How do you keep a secret? Kill yourself.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

I saw a shovel once.

alert('hiiii');

so there are 3 people who have heard of this magical cliff; theyre names are harry, dick, and joe. how the cliff works is that when you jump off you turn into whatever you say as you jump. first harry jumps off and yells plane, he turns into a plane and flys off. next dick jumps off and yells bird he turns into a bird and flys off. finally joe steps up to the cliff as he was walking he trips and falls as hes falling he yells HARRY DICK he than hits the ground and dies. everyone mourned for such a well respected individual.

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

man boobs

Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

What's pink and wrinkley and hangs out your pj's? Ya nanna :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...